I’m on an airplane heading from Ottawa to Kelowna (and probably actually publishing this from my stopover in Vancouver) and feeling slightly heady from the pack/move/hangover/goodbyes/sleeplessness. Also, my complementary TV screen isn’t working, so endless episodes of Community are not an option at this point. Thanks, Air Canada. Always a joy. Anyway, four hours straight of reading leads to restlessness, which leads to boredom, which leads to…
One Month of Unemployment, Saying Goodbye & Embarking on Worldwide Adventures: A How-To:
- Set your alarm for 7 a.m. every day, to be sure you really live and appreciate the time you have off.
- When you finally wake up at noon, download new ring tunes that will actually convince you to get up. (“Ha! You can’t trick me with that fire alarm noise, past-Jaimie!”)
- Instead of doing the things you really should be doing (ie. grad school applications, booking travel accommodations), do the more useless but enjoyable things (ie. YouTube videos of people bailing on skateboards or Walking Dead parodies [The Walken Dead is sort of brilliant, right?]).
- Visit your town like a wide-eyed tourist. My last-day trip to Ottawa’s Peace Tower for a view from up top was worth the admission ten times over (which, granted, was free.). But then, like a good local embracing Canada’s democratic, freedom-of-expression values, I also took some time to protest a protest on Parliament Hill. If only I’d had time to make a sign to protest the protest.
- Drink copious amounts of wine. Also, Bailey’s, beer, vodka, and anything that’s been collecting dust in your liquor cabinet over the years (what exactly is Blue Curaco, and why did I ever purchase an entire bottle? It really tastes like Windex.)
- Invite friends over for empty-apartment takeaway picnics (I suggest vietnamese or thai, but I’m sure pizza would actually work really well too.)
- Have a 2 a.m. dance party in your empty, echoing apartment. Preferably to Metallica, and preferably loud enough to wake the next-door neighbours who’ve endlessly kept you up / woke you up with their sexcapades.
- Leave a note for above-mentioned neighbours to suggest a romantic weekend away, as their activity has declined dramatically these last couple of months.
- Thank your friends for their support by giving them second-hand gifts from your home. Example: someone helped you pack? Give them the VHS tape collection that’s been sitting in your storage unit for the last five years – and hey, throw in the matching VCR!
- Get through the many goodbyes by living in perpetual denial. A cheery “see you next week!” is an oft-used tagline for me.
- Cry, but just a little bit. Mostly smile because it’s all such an awfully big adventure.